omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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