are you still at the devil's house?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize