Im at strip club and am horny
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Randomize
