she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
