PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We named our party play list daddy issues
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
