Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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