he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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