Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
