you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
