Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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