I'm jealous of your bromance
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize