honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
