I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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