We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
