Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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