TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
