Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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