My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
