It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize