So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize