girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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