I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize