but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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