Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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