Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
