You made me cry and you don't even care
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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