when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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