Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
