I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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