wakey wakey hands off snakey
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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