Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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