your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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