I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
