Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
