Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
did i walk over a car last night?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
