maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
