OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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