I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
