So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
