remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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