So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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