Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize