I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
