YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
