You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize