no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He felt like a one man threesome
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Everyone says I win the strip club
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
