1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
