I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
