Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
