That's intense
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
