So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
