okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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