Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
