Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
