Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
