I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
