If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
