what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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