is your mom at the bar?
More tranny stories later!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
