I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
