I can text with my tongue
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
