Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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