Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
