rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize