it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize