dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just gift wrapped bread.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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